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We Raise All Our Beef Humanely On Open Pasture And Then We Hang Them Upside Down And Slash Their Throats (link)41.President Personally Performs First Obamacare Euthanization (link)40. 42 Million Dead In Bloodiest Black Friday Weekend On Record (link)36. Typo In Proposition 8 Defines Marriage As Between ‘One Man And One Wolfman’ (link)34.World Death Rate Holding Steady At 100 Percent (link)69. Even CEO Can’t Figure Out How Radio Shack Still In Business (link)59. Fat Kid Successfully Avoids Ridicule By Swimming With Shirt On (link)57. Lance Armstrong Wants To Tell Nation Something But Nation Has To Promise Not To Get Mad (link)55. Romney Apologizes To Nation’s 150 Million ‘Starving, Filthy Beggars’ (link)53. Gives Local Masturbator Inside Scoop On This Summer’s Hottest New Swimwear (link)52.Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show A Hit Among People Who Don’t Know That Pornography Exists (link)68. African-American Neighborhood Terrorized By Ask Murderer (link)64. Starbucks To Begin Sinister ‘Phase Two’ Of Operation (link)51. Taylor Swift Now Dating Senator Joseph Mc Carthy (link)96.Loved Ones Recall Local Man’s Cowardly Battle With Cancer (link)82. Woman Flattered Complete Stranger Would Say Something So Nice About Her Tits (link)78.You Meet The Most Interesting People Kicking Open Random Bathroom Stalls (link)67. Friend Who Sent Link To 8-Minute You Tube Video Must Be Fucking Delusional (link)63. NASA Completes 52-Year Mission To Find, Kill God (link)50. Tony Womo Out Three To Four Weeks With Bwoken Widdle Fingey (link)47. Thousands Turn Out For Empire State Building’s Annual No-Hassle Suicide Day (link)45.6-Year-Old Cries When Told MTM Productions Kitten Dead By Now (link)49. I Can Instantly Tell Whether Someone Is African-American With My Amazing ‘Blackdar’ (link)44.
Dry Humping An Adequate Sex Alternative For Teens, Says Weird, Unsolicited Report From Department Of Interior (link)42.
In fact, I’ve probably spent 70% of my waking life in New York City working to make our videos there.
Last week, I accepted a job to move to LA and be a staff writer for Funny or Die, and while I am extremely excited to head west, I feel like I should take a sec to be real indulgently weepy on this public website about my amazing time at the ol’ launched.
Sperm Cells Unaware They’re Swimming Up Large Intestine (link)13.
Shotgun Blast To Abdomen Just Pisses Wilford Brimley Off More (link)12. Redskins’ Kike Owner Refuses To Change Team’s Offensive Name (link)9.