Questions you should ask a man before dating
I noticed myself nodding in recognition as I ticked off the kinds of issues that clients I have seen as a therapist for the past three decades have presented in our sessions.
They range from not knowing the person in the mirror well enough to being disillusioned by the person on the other side of the bed.
How do I do it with diplomacy so as not to alienate anyone either??? On a scale of 1-10, how much do you matter to yourself?
Were you, like many people, taught to put others first, as if somehow that makes you more virtuous, loveable and just plain simply, a better person?
Of course this seasoned woman has had time and life enough to make these queries. At this point in my life, I have accumulated experiences and life lessons that I desire to share with a partner.
I consider myself a wealthy woman since my friends and family are my treasures.
I would much rather explore and examine, from the perspective of being on the other side of the experience, not just what I want, but what I want, even though relationship experts generally encourage focus on the positive.
I am a believer, based on my own personal and professional perspective that I need to clear the detritus of previous encounters in order to build anew.
In reality, you can't put someone else's mask on if you are passed out from oxygen deprivation. Would it be a departure from your own vision for yourself.
The other person has “been there, done that, got the t-shirt” too. My current definition involves two people who have a common and merged vision, who communicate it openly and who take steps daily to strengthen and support that bond.
As a minister who has married over 300 couples since 1999, I have witnessed this dynamic with many of them.
You can't fill someone else's cup if yours is empty. Perhaps you could make a list of the qualities and values you already possess and then another of what he wanted of/for you.
Often we attempt to give from a place of depletion.