One on one cyber chat

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Much better than porno movies because it's real people. They look like everybody else, with all their flaws and imperfections."He shrugs.

"It's good to see people who are actually attracted to each other and not having sex for money," he says.

Women have told him that they prefer to see faces to cocks, so he keeps his camera pointing higher, à la Beautiful Agony.

And just so you know, these women aren't saying "I'd rather see your face" to avoid hurting his feelings. But even those of us who delight in dicks want to see your facial expressions, too.

In fact, mood is as contagious online as it is offline."There's a momentum that happens," he says.

"You'll see a lot of cams up, lots of women playing, a little free-for-all.

It's true that cybersex is not for everybody, and it can be emotionally dangerous even if you're not in a committed offline relationship and risking infidelity.

Some cyber partners even end up leaving the virtual space to get married. But it still irks me that it's such a shock when I explain that having sex online does not mean it's your last resort.

"They say 'hey I like your cam, you wanna go private?' and it just doesn't work that way," he says."It's the equivalent of walking up to a stranger in a bar and saying 'hey, wanna fuck'?most common questions in my e-mail is some variation on this: "How do I find women to have cybersex with? People still seem to believe the internet is full of millions of lonely, socially inept dweebs desperately masturbating with other lonely, socially inept dweebs pretending to be porn stars. Few writers bother to look beyond the fear to find other stories about sex in virtual spaces.And what television news program wants to report on normal people having a great time visiting and flirting and possibly sharing orgasms – normal people who then log off and go about the rest of their normal lives?

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