Being guarded dating

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Here comes the problem: She then asks me if I told anyone about it....(me and her are extremely honest with each other) and so I tell her our mutual friend XYZ asked me and I told him... She began saying how could I break her trust like that, she begins tearing up, saying she should have known better, she can't even look at me. You feel guarded, you have a wall up, you can’t get close to people and you’re afraid of getting hurt. We would all like to love with reckless abandon but we can’t because of that one relationship, with that one asshole, that one time. If you’re guarded it’s because you believe that you’re something you are not and you are fighting to maintain that image your ego has made. Brick by brick you have to start to dismantle those barriers and start living and dating. So how do you break down your walls and begin to date freely? Walls protect our egos, the person we want to believe that we are, not our hearts.You may have walls up because you don’t want to be judged or rejected but you just can’t live running from pain. The only way to date successfully is to pursue pleasure, pure pleasure and only date the people you think can give that to you. She thinks I just wanted to use her for sex and showoff to my friends when that couldn't be further from the truth.

Just when you think you’ve protected yourself from every possible hurt, and put every wall into place someone will come along and shatter your world. A wall blocks love from coming in and more importantly going out.Sure you can control your emotions by keeping your wall up but what type of life is that?Successful dating is about getting people to to get to know you and then letting them in.She keeps telling me she doesn't have emotions or feelings (not for me but in general) but I can tell in her eyes she's just scared to get hurt again.One night she's coming back from a dinner with her girlfriend, and I invite her over to watch some TV...

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