Am i dating someone with borderline personality disorder
On top of this, imagine experiencing exhausting mood swings and an unavoidable fear of being abandoned.
Welcome to the world of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).
Dropping a message before you start working for the day to say you have a busy one ahead, but you’re thinking of them and will call later, will stop the midday freak out, because they know you care about them and they know you’re OK.
If you’re unhappy with them, don’t act cold and distant – be up front and speak to them so you both understand each other and this can help them stay in control of their emotions.
Googling the subject, I suddenly find the internet is awash with people who have an incredibly negative and distorted view about what it’s like to date a person with BPD.
Some of the comments hit home because, from an early age, I have had an extremely tempestuous love life, but I also know it can work if both partners learn to understand each other.
When people pull away for any reason, that part of our illness goes into overdrive and this is where the disorder may get its bad name.
The fear of being abandoned is almost always, even if only subconsciously, the driving force of our ‘crazy’ behaviour in relationships.
But if I could get people to understand only one thing about being in a relationship with a person with BPD, it’s that we do not enjoy or take pleasure from our behaviour.
Personally, the only thing that gives me true happiness is other people, which is why BPD is a cruel illness – because most people who suffer from it are gregarious, true people lovers, but they struggle to maintain close relationships because of their illness.
When you finally meet the person who sets your world on fire, it feels incredible.
If you fall for someone with BPD then I won’t lie, you will be in for an experience you may not have had before.
But if you learn about the illness, its symptoms and discuss with your partner, you will be able to find healthy ways of dealing with them and I promise you it will be worth it.